


No One Is Coping Well

by Eternal_Love_Song



Series: Villains Out Shopping [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Animals, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Friendship, Gen, Harm to Animals, Humor, Loki Needs a Hug, Multi, Villains As People, no one is happy, villains out shopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 01:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10452405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternal_Love_Song/pseuds/Eternal_Love_Song
Summary: Loki does not accept substitutions.--Or--In Which Loki's friends try to give him a new pet and he is having none of it, Amora is sad, and Bucky wakes up and freaks out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This took a long time to work on and I'm sorry to all of you who waited patiently. Inspiration is a fickle mistress and I am an unreliable author.

"I do not want your trifles!" Loki yelled, knocking small bird cages and fish bowls off of the table. A flurry of noise went up as birds fluttered against their cages searching for escape, chirping and squawking at the sound of breaking glass.

Doom watched this with little more than a sigh. Amora put a hand on his shoulder. "What ever gave any of you the idea that Loki would accept such common fair in the first place?" She demanded. She was glaring at them all with red eyes, but no one questioned her less than immaculate appearance.

"Loki, come on," Mystique pleaded, walking closer. "Just look at this cutie!" She said as she thrust her arm toward him, showing off the Potoo owl that sat there patiently.

"What in Odin's name is that?" Loki demanded. "Tree bark with eyes?"

Mystique gasped and pulled her arm back away from him, practically cradling the bird. "Don't you be mean to him."

Loki rolled his eyes and turned away from her.

"Perhaps mine will be better received," Magneto said. He floated a terrarium toward Loki, the snake within peeking it's head out and looking the god in the eyes. "You've got an affinity for these tiresome creatures, don't you?"

Loki held the snakes gaze for a prolonged moment before turning to slowly glare at Magneto. "I hold claim to Midgard's serpent, a creature so large and dangerous it's entire body can wrap around your world and it could devour stars and suns in a single gulp. Why would this pale imitation amuse me?" Loki's voice was low and dangerous.

Magneto floated the terrarium away and to the ground with a deep sigh. "Is there anything that would please you?" He asked.

"What would please me is to have my human returned to me!" Loki yelled. "Not these petty! Replacements!" Loki kicked the chairs from the table with splintering force.

"Alright, alright," Emma said. "Look, we're looking for your human, okay. But in the mean time, maybe you want something to keep you company?"

"I have Amora for company" Loki hissed. "I don't see anyone trying to placate her with dumb animals!"

"She doesn't have an affinity for animals like you do," Emma argued.

"I do not have an affinity for animals," Loki objected.

Azazel appeared at his side, holding up his fingers as he counted off, "Thor, The Avengers, your lost human, the way you think of all humans..." Loki lashed out at him, but Azazel rightly teleported away.

"I do not need your judgement or your pity!" Loki growled.

"Loki." Emma waited for him to face her before she continued. "You do not have our pity, but you will always have our judgement. Just like you judge the hell out of us. Now stop being so damn angry and let us show you our friendship already!"

Loki dropped himself into one of the chairs he'd left untouched and grumbled. "Friendship," He snorted. "Fine. What do you wish to placate me with, Emma?"

Azazel teleported a large cage onto the table. He was grinning widely at Loki. "We chose it together," He said.

"It's a white tiger," She said.

"It's vanity," Loki rebuttalled. "This creature is an accessory to your aesthetic. Even if I wanted it, I could hardly take it from you."

"It is a lovely creature," Emma agreed, looking at it with admiration.

"Well, Victor? What have you got for me?" Loki questioned.

"Doom will give you nothing."

"Nothing?" Loki repeated. "You want me to believe we are adjoined here, in your embassy, and you did not contribute?"

"That is not what I said," Doom replied. "I said that I will give you nothing. I chose things that I believed you would favor, but you do not want them, so I will simply keep them until you feel more appreciative. Perhaps you will enjoy them more once you can use them to to discomfort your human."

Loki stared at Doom, his eyes becoming bright with unshed tears for a moment before he rapidly blinked them away. "Well, waiting around here is useless. I... would hate to imagine that Hydra got a hold on him once more."

"Wait up, Loki," Emma said. "Azazel and I will go with you."

Loki nodded. He looked to Amora, but she just clung to Doom's shoulder. Mystique went to her side. "Hey, Doom said you did a bunch of baking the other day. Show me how? I'm abysmal at cooking."

"Yeah, sure." Amora answered.

"I'll show you both how to cook something worthwhile," Magneto told them. "There are a few recipes of my mothers I'd like to watch you stumble through."

* * *

 

"Can you help him?" The voice was clear, familiar, but he couldn't place it, couldn't open his eyes. His body hurt and he could barely move it.

"He's lost a lot of blood..." An unfamiliar voice answered.

"I know, but..." The voice was fading away, his head getting hazy again.

"...do what I can..." His attention was fading. He was missing bits and pieces of the conversation.

"....secret..." He was losing his fight with consciousness.

"...okay." That voice... It was a voice he knew... Trusted? Bucky was too weak to do anything whether that was true or not. He hoped that he was right as the blackness swallowed him up again.

* * *

 

Bucky was categorizing his injuries before he'd opened his eyes. He was stiff, not with pain but with bandages. He felt sluggish, whether from drugs or blood loss, he couldn't be sure. He wasn't restrained at all, so whoever had him was either stupid or ignorant. Or, Loki and Amora had found him and taken him back... home.

He imagined the string of derisive comments that Loki would hurl on him, only partially mitigated by Amora's halfhearted scolding. He imagined Amora trying to feed him with hit or miss foods that she did not taste herself and Loki slipping an alternative meal he ordered just for Bucky's benefit onto the table before leaving him alone.

Those thoughts smacked of regret. Bucky pushed them away as he opened his eyes. He was not at all ready to see Steve Rogers sleeping in a chair near his bed.

Bucky's mind went into crisis mode. Worst case scenario, this was Shield and he was in this room alone with Captain America for a staged interrogation. Best case scenario, Amora had done this as revenge. This room was much too plain for the latter, too unsecured for the former. Could Steve have really just... found him? Was Bucky's luck really that... his thoughts tripped over the debate of good verses bad luck for this situation and he made himself move on before he could parse through his feelings.

He needed to know if the other Avengers knew, if Shield knew, and if Hydra knew, in that order. He remembered hearing another voice, but he hadn't recognized it. Probably not Tony then. Shame, since that was the only other Avenger that he could trust. Though Tony would tell Loki, and he didn't know how to feel about that yet. There was definitely an 'I told you so!' in his future one way or the other, though.

So what were the chances that Bucky could sneak out of this room, drugged and/or weak from blood loss, without waking Steve? Bucky pulled himself into a sitting position, sighing at the strain it put on him. It would hurt, but he was used to such things. He looked over to Steve and froze instantly when he saw those eyes on him.

He was not ready for this.

He was one hundred percent not ready for this.

Life was much easier when he was staring at Steve from behind a sniper rifle. That thought sounded bad enough to Bucky that he couldn't imagine what nonsense would come out of his mouth if he opened it. He tried to think of what advice Amora had given him and whether or not it had been any good.

Steve looked hopeful, worried, and cautious, but mostly hopeful. He leaning forward immediately and asked softly, "Bucky?"

"I don't know who you are but I think we might be friends!" Bucky blurted out.

If there had ever been a moment Bucky wished he could spontaneous burst into flames, it was now. Of all the conversation with Amora, he'd remember that one? He repeats that one?

Bucky panicked, hit himself in the head, and pretended to pass out. If there was anyway this could be more a train wreck, Bucky didn't know how.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I took several of your suggestions for animals. Originally, I'd planned to have Doom sending a string of new animals to placate him, but then everyone else wanted to get in on the friendship, so here we are. Doom got Loki at least three exotic pets that are not shown. Not sure if I should have them show up later. I don't even know what Loki would do with them!
> 
> I had Buck's first scene written for months now and none of this is what I thought would happen when I started that. But... here we are, I guess. I hope this was amusing, even though I effectively left another cliffhanger. Sorry about that.
> 
> I would love to hear what all of you think! So questions, comments, concerns, and criticisms are all welcome and wanted!


End file.
